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Posted on Jun 5, 2013 in Featured, Motherhood, The Fam

I’ve taken it upon myself to do some family screenwriting lately. It goes like this:Act 1 Scene 1: garage door lifts, child runs shrieking with glee toward the street as mother frantically chases yelling all combinations of ‘stop!’ ‘Freeze’ ‘wait!’ ‘[name!!]’. Child turns a corner into neighbors yard and dares mother to hurdle waist-high shrub. And on and on.Act 1 Scene 2: [sound of sliding door unlocking and opening] Mom: “wait a minute there, we’re staying inside right now, time to play inside.” Child bolts full sprint across pea gravel to the garden. “Behrees” Stands precariously at the forbidden fruit, eyes like saucers, reaching for bright red unripe temptress. Mother, panting from sprint to catch up, “Stop. Not ready! Wait!” memory flashes back with contempt on glorified homeschool-garden moment when the berry education, and subsequent obsession began.  Attempts to salvage last few unpicked fruit and directs child back inside setting up a trail of berry barricades behind them.We had ‘time to wait’ for so long on the discipline books…now I’m thinking a midnight cram-session is way past due.

So yes. I’ve indeed written out some of our common scenarios in hopes of writing the parenting script that both Tyler and I can follow consistently to get to shaping these little souls into respectable citizens.

Help me! How do these scenarios go in your experience?

  • touches something off limits (electrical outlet, stove knobs, toilet bowl, unripened fruit)
  • throws food/bowl/silverware/cup (usually if unwanted or when finished)
  • throws rocks and/or other non-ball items (not necessarily at anyone)
  • swats or pushes sister
  • swats at Mommy or Daddy
  • squirms and kicks out of diaper changes/holding hands/being carried
  • runs onto people’s property and reaches for car door handles (!!)
  • climbs onto tables, uses furniture like jungle gym
  • steals a toy/milk/snack from sibling
  • screams and stomps when Mommy is holding sibling or not following other toddler directions
  • stands on books/laptops/toys that are on the ground
  • dumps water and wet toys out of the bath
  • refuses to eat food and/or vitamins
Disclaimer.  Of course, my kids are angels…a lot of the time.  Besides, I’m really asking on behalf of my friend.

1 Comment

  1. I know this is an old post, but I followed the link from your current post… And laughed quite hard when I read this one. I have absolutely every scenario in common with your poor “friend”… Let me know if she comes up with any solutions, k? 🙂


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